to whom it may concern… (november 12, 2011)

there are parts of my day when I need to feel
a hand on my hip other than my own
a kiss before leaving the house
someone to bathe
to cook for
to love, respect, honor and cherish
my half which makes me better
these low tides I am wading in are crushing me under pressure
needs air to breathe – where is my air – pure and doting
adoring
willing to force its way into a crowded space
am I damaged, I daydream in circles
running around the answers
bobbing in and out of facts
knocking me back down
looks into mirrors
stares at sad eyes
am I to be alone
where is my anchor for I am a seaboat
in the middle of the sea
searching, seeking, seemingly drowning
hole in the bottom of my heart
I hold in these emotions
to calm the storms around me
to keep waves from crashing
Yet
where for art thou
sunshine
being my reflection we shine
this grief is devastating with room for change
I am a cramped confusion in a bright mind
magnetizes and misleads
follows too many scents
I want my own fragrance
one that I douse in and love
a picture hanging on my wall
a reminder that self is only as sharp as another self
call that biblical
or mathematical
I believe in something more than sex
a conversation with hands
mouths mute smiling
talking with lips unmoved
I thirst a kiss with arms
smacking my frame and embracing
rocking this pain and injustice done to and from me
really needs a new engine to replace whats in this old school
sputtering across gravel
trying to get there
fighting to reach destination:
free zone void of half truths and backwash
disclosures and secrets
deceit prohibited
disrespect a violation

for when I am loved
I give love back
in big hugs and klutzy smiles
I give love in triangles, circles, and angles
leaving squares for those needing them
I was in my box and it was cozy
I give love in fumbling sentences and goofy laughs
expressing too much too soon
So
I need a man who will receive and appreciate
a long limbed black widow
Goddess
A Queen
handpicked by God
a King whom I may worship
and may worship me and together
us
can make other planets spin in opposite directions
take sidewalks and turn them over
we return to dirt on bottoms of feet
call it foundation
build a building
name it hope
erect ourselves in the spirits of each other and become one upright
in pursuit of being and nothingness
because with someone everything means something
alls I’m saying is
I want you
sooooooo badly
whoever you are
to be gentle and bold with me
give right
so wrong is never an option
and you will live long and righteous
I am goat
ruled by Saturn
will stand in a strong stance
holding you down.

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About monalisasrandomthoughts

I craft people poems. I laugh out-loud. I love all things. Everything is about order. My movements are chess. Everything to me calculates. I just look like this.
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