Random (at 34 years old)

Because if you knew me…then you knew me…who I am today…still seeking…searching…waiting…
In the crook of the arm of days…moving cross state and county lines…seeking…searching…waiting…
Running…because legs are still long and lean…still able to slow fast trot…knees feel aches…can’t break me…I am still…untamed…
seeking…searching…waiting…
And smiling because without these dents I would sprain my spine and all muscle matter would fold under me…
I would see the missteps and unfocused behaviors…the latenights…phone calls…text messages…waiting…
On a falsesimpression of a real situation with many lovers…without intent…of fathering a child

Without intent of marrying this woman that is I have been caught up in tangled webs with many
Cut throats and left head in my left hand laughing…being by oneself is not easy when you have looked pure love in its face and told it to keep pushing ahead…into the future that love wanted you to live in…oh how the memories creep up the back of my neck and I have to scratch them down…cause alone is a spider bite at times…
…a gift and a curse being an attraction is…being able to attract and flirt…manipulate and deceive…obliterate…even…
Random…always gets misguided and abused…always leaves a film…a bad taste on the tongue…the past disguises and disgusts….and we all want our ego…we need to be fed…more than others…the heart…must beat. through the pain…the disdain…sorrow is a pulpy citrus fruit…rotting in a dry room…becoming older….without children and a helpmate…forces me to look in more mirrors and determine…again…who it is that I am…
Again…where am I…
Refocus and disconnect… Only to reconnect and focus…keeping 180 means stepping in a 360…twist a 90 at times…numbers…words…love…love…listen…to you…be better than what you think…let us all…stand random and air out the dirt…clear the air…the vessel…being ready for the next means discarding of the old…adorned drastic measures and puzzles…end result being self happiness…smiling…from endurance…from reflection…
random

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About monalisasrandomthoughts

I craft people poems. I laugh out-loud. I love all things. Everything is about order. My movements are chess. Everything to me calculates. I just look like this.
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