Working on the insides
making way for new troubles to come around and taint
the very fibers that were stained to blend into the colors
I did not know I appreciated
sitting in my choices, swishing the water back and forth
grasping for the truth splashing my face with both hands
gripping the forgotten oar, that rests on the edge, so I may row
again, away, from this self that teases and tastes at my past,
tries to eat up my new, likes its smell
close friends and family want to run my life from the inside of me standing on the outside
looking into, wishing they could contain my energy, always, I like to be by myself
into myself not giving off much energy to anyone,
a solitude is more than a space to sit in and repeat actions in the mind,
it is a place that holds you and directs you to talk, to laugh, to sit, to cry, to pain, to anger, to exhaust, to praise, to listen to music…BONG
cause by myself I am able to deal with my who I am without any who you ares fucking with me…
get out my business is my hello and beat it a person can do,
when full control is taken of person,
when one creates a space within their shell,
unfolds the folds that have secrets, air out the stench
sleep comes in positive z’s x-ing and o-ing nobody a thing
that feeling comes in the new I am understanding, that people need to really deal with their old,
before stopping and even reflecting on my everything,
because I tell jokes and make you laugh – funny
and I don’t like the bullshit – funny acting, in this new,
there are line breaks and forms that are foreign and familiar
a new born and builds numbers in a supreme fashion – mathematics and sciences
a new forms relationships with the spirit of things instead of the religion of things
reveals formulas which exist in other vessels
means loving one first, God…
others will follow the new you smell when you advance to that level in this game,
it means extra sharpening of the KNF (knife) that has cut so many
and smiled at them within seconds of each other,
it defines my cheeks and dimples into holding spaces for the lost and weary,
to come correct or walk away tangled…
I told my mate, I can do things like show him himself and allow him to grow…
stop thinking for me and get more like me I tell those that assume, misconceive, presume, distort, or think that they know me better than myself,
I’m chuckling freewrite that you would think that.
find your new.
all of you.
know your self.
you will heal when you stop trying to control the demons from your past,
when you put the vice down.
when you stop making excuses.
when you leave yourself inside yourself.
you will heal when you allow anger to seep out of your vessel.
when you stop trying to control and confuse others for your own personal gain.
when you stop assuming.
when you tell yourself to heal.
you will heal and your new will fall into your lap and coat your body,
your new armor you will step into,
you will heal when you tell yourself:
it. is. time.